I wanted to first thank you for all the love and support about my last post.
It was probably the most difficult post to write, but I knew it needed to be done. I know I’m not the only person in the world with body self-esteem issues and it would be silly to assume that this whole journey would be all comedic posts about the hustle. Because let’s be honest – this shit is hard and some days are going to be brutal. If working out and eating healthy were easy, we’d all have perfect bodies.
What is surprising me most about this journey is the many secret confessions from all of you. I get bombarded with Facebook messages, emails, and text messages from friends (and even strangers) who share their struggles, their successes and their fitness secrets. Many of these are things you tell me in confidence because you share that similar embarrassment I feel about where I am right now.
It blows my mind.
Here I am thinking that my current weight is the most embarrassing thing ever and here you are telling me that your more normal sized body gives you the exact same insecurities. What does this tell me? It’s all about our self-perception!
Now don’t get me wrong, there are obviously health risk factors you have to account for, but the way we beat ourselves down is all about what we perceive as the reality about what constitutes a healthy or beautiful body.
I have plenty of weight to lose. Lots. If I were to look up my suggested weight for my height, I’d probably get super discouraged. I’m not entirely focusing on that. I just want to be healthier. Yes that includes a target number for weight loss, but I may decide I’m happy and strong enough at a weight higher than the suggested medical point. Who knows! All I know is that I’m trying my best, and I’m working harder than I ever have at this game called fitness.
What I do know is that I’m not a coach.
I’m really touched that so many of you are reaching out to me to find out my workouts and plan because you are seeing my results and want to have them happen for you. However, my plan is focused on me…where I’m at…how I live…and what I like to eat. So while it may benefit you to share a similar path, it may not be the perfect path for you.
And believe me, I get it. Hiring a personal trainer is expensive. It truly is, and it is one of the reasons why I probably hadn’t ever considered doing it in the past. However, it really does make a difference when you find someone that matches you and listens to you (and who knows what they are doing). Because then it’s magical. I have found my fitness unicorn in Ray. (Hmmmm….I think that’s officially my Halloween costume recommendation for you, Ray. Please make it happen.)
So feel free to pester me with questions about why this is finally sticking and what changes I have made and just start.
Start and start and start again.
It’s taken me over 20 years to finally focus on me, and it didn’t happen over night. There were multiple attempts at getting healthier and multiple fails but this one seems to finally be sticking.
And no, I’m not enjoying one minute of the workouts. I enjoy the interaction with the Boston strongboy and his accent, but the working out still sucks and the staying away from all the sweets is no fun. But it’s getting easier and it’s becoming a part of my daily routine AND I’m getting healthier day by day.
Case in point: Today is our one-month anniversary and I’m officially down 15.7 pounds and my stamina is higher which makes me feel good after each workout. That’s progress!