All week, I’ve had a lot of fun laughing at this ridiculous scenario that I have decided to entertain. The ridiculous portion is how I said yes, not the seriousness of why I finally decided to say yes. I am actively reflecting on what hasn’t worked in the past because I don’t want to get in the same rut. I don’t want to fail.
I understand that this journey will not be perfect and that I will have days where I feel like I did everything wrong. If weight-loss and working out were easy, the whole world would be fit.
This is going to be hard.
I’m going to be miserable on many days.
I’m going to want to quit.
I’m trying to convince myself that I will have fun. In fact, I’ve been using this blog to make myself laugh because I’m trying to not freak out. I’ve shared my story with my coworkers, my friends and anyone that will listen because I want them to check on me and to help me be accountable.
I even treated myself to some new workout clothes today. There is no reason to let a little sweat get in the way of looking fashionable, right?
But guess what….I’m slowly starting to panic!
I think about all the foods I won’t be eating and it makes me stare longingly at the stupid food I’m eating this week (nothing crazy, but I know some of the items will be no no’s on the list). Mind you, we haven’t even discussed dieting yet, and I already have a scenario created where I won’t be eating any carbs or sugars ever. Ray has NEVER uttered those words. In fact, I think he implied the opposite. Sure, we’ll eliminate some items for periods of time, but he never said I would have a forever restriction.
I’m also imagining how sore I will be this coming week, and how it will negatively affect my daily life. I have to officiate my first wedding and the last thing I want to do is cringe at every step I take. I don’t even know what exercises I’ll be doing, but I have managed to envision not being to walk!
The mind games have begun and I need to get myself out of this space or else I’ll set myself up to fail. Ugh!